yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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