Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
