make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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