i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
how drunk are you?
Several
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
