You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
