I don't think brook has ever known best
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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