If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
