I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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