He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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