I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
