is this the sara with the beer cane?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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