Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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