Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
