why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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