So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Semen is not good for contacts.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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