Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Too much gin, very little bucket
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
