Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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