Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
