I like my sex mixed with concussions.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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