idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
