You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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