you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
