Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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