Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
