help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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