Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
