kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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