My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
