can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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