wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
