i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
