im having a threesome with these popsicles
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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