we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
