you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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