boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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