JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
