So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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