My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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