Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
why is half of my head shaved?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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