Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
