What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
