Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
