you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize