I just made out with a guy for $7.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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