I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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