I can text with my tongue
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
