return my video game
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
