I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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