Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He passed out mid-signature
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
