Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
