she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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