Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i came on her dog
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
