piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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