My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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