It's like God shit irony all over that family
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize