Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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