turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
