Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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