is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
