new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
