S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
