It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
