Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize