I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize