In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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