youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
