she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
