We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
