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I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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