So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
