the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
