He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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