How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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