I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I believe in your delicious
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
