I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
